Family for Sale?

Wooo-Whooo it is time for Writer’s Workshop at Mama Kat’s.

Swing on by and check it out! For this week, I choose…

#4- Describe how you would celebrate the holidays

if it was totally up to you and money was not a factor.

Family for Sale?
The holidays bring up a lot of uneasiness and mixed emotions for me. When I was younger, we would spend Christmas Eve with my Mom’s family and Christmas Day with my Dad’s family. Unfortunately over the years the family gatherings slowly fell apart…until one day no one cared any more at all (or so it seems). I do not know if it is sadness, family tension, or just sheer apathy, but there has not been a family Christmas on either side in years.


To get where I am going, you must understand from where I come. For Christmas Eve, my mom’s entire family – grandparents, aunts and uncles (there are 7 siblings in my mom’s family, but you never knew exactly how many would show up), and my 22 cousins would gather for an evening that included torturing each other (in a family-friendly way), cookie decorating, gift opening, and oyster stew (eww!)…and eventually a giant burrito (don’t ask!).

At one time each family was to bring gifts for another family. This was to prevent anyone from going broke buying presents for 50+ people. Well, that fell apart the year my aunt decided I did not need anything…explain that to an 8 year old. (yes, and that was Crazy Aunt M of the Chili Brie fame). And Uncle Rocco would give each kid a silver dollar and tell them to “Stay on the straight and narrow.” (As if he had!)

Then people started to die…and move…and get married. This year, my mom tried to pull something together, but no one wanted to make a trip, one uncle has a lot of family turmoil, so he pretty much didn’t care either, Crazy Aunt M is missing, Aunt B (not of sweet potato pie fame) is probably shacking up with someone else’s husband (not her own of course!), and the cousins…who knows?

As for Christmas day, my dad’s family, which consisted of my great aunts and uncles, my grand parents, and my dad’s cousins, would gather at J and G’s house. My brother and I were often bored…we were the only kids at the time…the cousins closest in age to us are 12 years younger or 12 years older. It was fun running around in their big yard, but to a 5 and 7 year old that only lasts so long, and listening to adults gab on and on gets old quick when you have a house full of new toys! If only I had know to treasure these moments, but can you really know that at 7?

Many family deaths also occurred around this time of year on this side of the family. My last remaining great aunt took that on all too much...it was never the same. When I look through her photo album, the captions are haunting. This is how she began to document her life, with the passing of her loved ones.

My disdain for the holidays is rooted in this dissection and dysfunction of the family in general. I have always, if just for once wanted to sit around with my entire family (what is left of it) at one table enjoying each other. And then we can decide…"Who are we kidding?” and go our own ways, but at least we’d know! So, after all of this, how would I spend the holidays if I could do anything I want, money no object…

Christmas Eve

I would gather the troops. I would fly in the cousins, aunts and uncles for a real Norwegian Christmas Eve. I’d have to rent a mansion (OK, a REALLY BIG HOUSE) to accommodate the ever-growing family (we might leave out Aunt M and Aunt B however, although they provide for good stories later!). There would be a gift for each person (probably PJ’s!), a whit eelephant gft exchange (becasue they rock at this family Christmas!), and (good) Oyster stew. The kids would play and run around…we all have kids that some of us have never even met. The big fancy table doesn’t suit this crowd, so we’d skip that, but we would all be together.

Christmas Day

This would be mostly a repeat of Christmas Eve, but with my dad’s family. It is a much smaller group, so I would for once in my life, have a big formal family dinner around a beautiful dining table. My brother and his family would be there – there would be peace for one day (there is a little riff…not to be discussed on this blog at all). The cousins would play and laugh and get to know each other better, as it should be.

Now the story continues…
My husband’s family is spread across the U.S. There are many divorces, etc., but they can all play nice and be in the same room – I have seen it happen before. So, to complete our Christmas I would offer the same hospitality to his side of the family.


So, my dreams, my wishes, are simple…but they are never going to happen. Some of the wounds too deep, the divides too great, and the sense of family lost. It saddens me, especially now that I have my own children. I really want my kids to have a connection to their family. They will not have the chance to grow up with memories of these big gatherings (no, they are not all good but they are mine!).


Instead, I will be HAPPY - VERY HAPPY -  to spend my Christmas with my kids, my husband, and my parents (and be very thankful they are here). Santa will leave a special treasure hunt, we’ll eat yummy food and if all goes well, enjoy a fire in the fire pit....mayeb I will figure out how to make pumpkin marshmallows ansd we can have s'mores (everything is better with a s'more)! I will cherish each moment.

Oh, wait…now, before I go, my Christmas wishes are not done…it is my story right?
I have three friends that I {heart} dearly, as I do their families. We used to all gather together to celebrate our own little Christmas. I miss this tradition so much. I miss our kids growing up together and just the general camaraderie that accompanied those celebrations. Two of us have moved away, and we have not all been together for 4 years. I would gather us all up to enjoy a little Christmas cheer.


Or, maybe, I’d just scrap it all…grab the kids, my hubby, and a nanny and head for Maui!


Cheers!
Holly

P.S. Since it is a money-no-object kind of dream…

I would have killer shoes and the best outfits for each and every celebration!

P.S.S.-My computer is at the techy hospital...

please leave a comment and I will get back at ya asap!

P.S.S.S.-In spite fo the craziness, my parents

always did a wondefufl job of making the holidays

special for my brother and I.

Love Ya Mom and Dad!