Bill Was No Thrill

I am so excited to be a part of the inaugural

Write On at Tattoos and Teething Rings.

I have been following TT&R basically since

I started blogging and I really enjoy her blog

{and she is kind of a neighbor}

and now she is doing this new feature...so excited {squeal!}.

I choose "The Worst Date Ever" prompt. Now pretty much every date I went on could qualify for this, so the winner...the featured "one that {thankfully} got away" truly earned this honor because of how he ended the date.

Bill Was No Thrill

My friends are I were season ticket holders for the Los Angeles Kings. After each game we would head to The Kettle, a glorified Denny's-type restaurant in Manhattan Beach - we had always done this, but in recent times some of the players had begun to frequent the establishment and other the bars in the neighborhood...so we could eat and check out cute hockey players {I am a sucker for a hockey player}.

All through our late night meal, while I was looking at hockey players, this man had been staring at me. At this point I didn't date much - I was {OK, still am} a little awkward and was finding my self back then. He finally came over and introduced himself...Bill was his name....and I was {stupid and} all giddy. It actually hurts to think about how ridiculous I was.

He called the next day for a date...I went...whatever. He called for another...I went...whatever...When he called for a third date, he suggested a hill top restaurant that was more out his way. So, I offered to meet him out there.

I arrived at the restaurant, and discovered he was late, and had also invited another couple...a married couple from his work to join us. He acted as though we had been dating for awhile and via the conversation, I deduced he had told the other couple I was his girlfriend. It was just awkward, as the other couple started making out...lips smacking, hands groping, people moaning...EEWWW!  Eventually, Bill's brother and some other friends joined us...Saved...for now! Eventually, the group headed over to Bill's house, a house he shared with his brother.

Before I continue on, can I reinforce the fact that I was not really into this guy. Poor Bill was boring and little into himself. He paid for the dates {bonus points}, but made me yawn. He wasn't necessarily rude, or mean, or crass...or so I thought.

At one point, Bill excused himself, and at the brothers cue, the other guests mysteriously disappeared. A few minutes later Bill reappeared in a pair of rainbow striped bikini underwear. Bill was not attractive nor unattractive he just was and really was nothing to behold in a pair of bikini underwear.

Me:"Um...excuse me?"

Bill: "Do you like them?"

Me: "What are you doing?"

Bill" "They are for you. It is the third date."

Me: "...and that means....."

{OK, I am not stupid...I know what he wanted...he wasn't getting it...but a little torture was in order}

Bill: "It's time."

Me: "For me to go. Bye."

Needless to say, I didn't get a call the next day...but 9 months later I did.

Bill: "Hi, this is Bill. Have you been thinking about me?"

Me: "Who is this?" {I knew who it was}

Bill: "Bill, of course your remember. Don't play games with me. I have been thinking about you. Have you been thinking about me?"

Me: "I do not even know who this is...how could I be thinking about you?"

Bill: "Oh, come on. I am sure you wondered where I was."

Me: "What did you say your name was again?"

Bill: "Holly, how can you say you don't know me."

Me: "Sorry, I have dog poop to pick up."

Click

Poor Bill he was no thrill, except in his own mind.

Now the other prompt was "How did you met your husband/wife?" For that story, you can read my lovely little poem, The Boy With No Socks.

Comeback tomorrow for DIY Day...I hope!